Trans-Fatty Acids

Trans-Fatty Acids
Trans-fatty acids, aka trans-fats, aka The evil fat that will try to kill you. You should not be eating this. Seriously, you can skip the rest of the article, as long as you understand that this is the very last thing you should be putting in your body.

What are Trans-Fatty acids?

OK, so you want more information before making up your mind. I can appreciate that. Trans-Fatty Acids are the result of good fats (like a poly-unsaturated fat) being processed to make it last longer and cook food quicker than natural fats do. Essentially, they throw out everything that’s good for you and give you the rest, along with a bunch of other crap, just so it can sit in a fryer for a month without going rancid. Imagine what you’d have to do to vegetables to make them not go rotten for a month. Yeah, that’s the sort of thing they do to vegetable oil.

Why should I eat them?

In short; you shouldn’t. There are two reasons people do; convenience and fries. Deep frying something is a terrible way to cook it for your health, but it’s quick, cheap and means you can train a 16-year-old to do it for $12 an hour. Eventually we’ll probably see trained baboons working the fryers at the local burger chain, provided they don’t fling their excrement in with the food more then 50% of the time.

What do they do for me?

You know how you’ve always heard that eating fat can make you fat? This is the fat that you heard about. It’ll clog up your arteries, build up around your organs and generally try to turn you into an oily, wheezy mess.

How often should I eat them?

Freakin’ NEVER, have you not taken notice of that bit so far? Eating this would totally go against your dreams of burning fat. OK, OK, occasionally we might throw the diet to the wind and have a go at a side of fries, but seriously, it’s a treat that you should keep as a very rare event.

What foods are high in trans-fats?

If it’s high in trans-fats, you should be avoiding it like a kangaroo avoids a semi-trailer on a major highway. That means you should get the hell out of the way! Things such as: Margarine and any processed fats Processed meats like Salami or Prosciutto Processed baked goods like cakes, pies and flavoured chocolate Processed cheese Anything with “Hydrogenated oil” written in the ingredients. That stuff is terrible.

What if I eat too much of it?

You die. Well, not right away, but gradually it’ll build up until you’re only able to find your nether regions with a flashlight, a VERY understanding friend, and the jaws of life. More specifically, it will build up in your body in the worst places. Besides the extra bump or bulge around the place, it will sit around your vital organs and in your arteries.

Should I eat any at all?

You can’t really eat too little of trans-fats. There are plenty of nutrients that get a bad reputation, like other fats, carbs and even protein, but trans-fats have pretty much nothing going for them. They’re the nutritional equivalent of Syphilis. You don’t want it, and it’s hard to get rid of once you get it.

Is it safe for women too?

No. Women are not magically protected from trans-fats. In fact, women are more vulnerable to them because they use less kilojoules than men. These things are about as welcome in your body as a fart in an elevator, you have to understand that by now, why would you ask that?


You should always carefully consider how much trans-fat you eat as it is obviously bad for general health. Sure, the occasional bowl of fries won’t really hurt you much, but if every meal comes with chips and a deep-fried schnitzel, no matter how hard you train you’ll always struggle to be healthy. Do your body a favour and leave the trans-fats off the plate. Read More:

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